One of my friend Jyoti S. posted a joke few days back on “Height of Facebook Addiction”. The joke was “A man was sentenced to hang till death. Jailor asked last wish of the criminal. Criminal said that he want to update his status on facebook”.
Me and some of my friends are quite active on facebook and most of us are addicted. I observed a particular style and type of comments and status messages by most of them. I was thinking what will happen if this criminal is our mutual friend. How people will react or comment on his status message? I am just trying to put some of the comments on behalf of my friends as per my observation.
One day on Facebook
Status update by Mr. XYZ
Guys, Court sentenced me to hang till death. I will be hanged tomorrow. Bye bye friends. I don’t know where I will be after death – in heaven or in hell.
Comments on status message
Naveen Choudhary : बुरे काम का बुरा नतीजा. खैर जो हुआ वो अब बदल नहीं सकता. जो एक दिन तुम्हारे पास बचा है, उसे अच्छे से जियो. और अगले जन्म में ऐसे पाप मत करना की फांसी की सज़ा हो. भगवान तुम्हारा भला करे. (Naveen ko gyan dene ki bahut bimari hai)
Anurag Bhateja: Whaaat.. tell me you are joking.. I am giving you call right now.
XYZ: @anurag- I am serious. Don’t call. I don’t have phone. I am able to use facebook as per my last wish.
Anurag Bhateja: Shit man.. I will miss you..
Anurag Bhateja: BTW buddy I have an idea. Why don’t you start blogging on your experience after death.. I have these domains available – www.heaven.net , www.hell.org. If you will buy .in domains, I can give you 25% discount.
XYZ: @anurag – pehle ye to pata chale ki I am going to hell or heaven.
Sunaina Nargis: Tha ek dost ham sabka, naam uska nahi tha shyam
Ab aayega yaad ham sabko wo subah-o-sham
Tha wo bahut masoom, par kar baithe kuch bure kaam
Isi chakkar me ho gaya uska kaam tamaam.
Sandeep Gupta: Very bad news bhai.. we will miss you a lot bhai.
@sunaina: bahut hi mast poem likhi hai aapne.
Gautam Mehta: Gul Panag ne abhi-2 twitter pe likha hai ki XYZ ko faansi ki saza ho gayi.. (Bhagwan is twitter se hame bachao)
Mohd. Safdar Afaque: We will miss you buddy. You rock..
@Gay-tam (Gautam): saale, twitter ke agent, upar XYZ ne bhi yahi likha hai..
@Anurag: Kameene kahi to apna dhandha chhor de.
Angel – Deepika Khurana: Hmmmm… o no.. tis iz sd.. wl ms ya.. tk cr.
Anurag Bhateja: @naveen bhaiya – samjha lo aap safdar ko. Mai fir kuch keh dunga.
@safdar – mai XYZ bhaiya ko domain bech nahi raha balki unhe to heaven / hell me apna distributor bana raha hu. Har domain pe 325/- dunga unko. Kyo XYZ bhaiya..
Gaurav Chhabra ‘Karma’: :O.. it’s definitely not a yippee day.. it’s a sad news..
Gautam Kapil: Its sad.. will that girl will also be hanged? She had killer looks, killer eye’s were beautiful, more than shivi and su’s eyes.
Deenu Yadav: Hey dude.. this is a sad news yaar.. not cool at all.. how will you manage dude?
Anurag Bhateja: @GC – doc, is there any way to know that XYZ will go to hell or heaven?
Gaurav Chhabra ‘Karma’: yes he can see the files of his deeds through RTI. He can question the administration why he should not be in heaven.
Immediately after that Anurag bhateja writes a status message “Gaurav Chhabra said that XYZ can get answer from swarg authority through RTI. (As ususal, GC is tagged in this message).
Nivida Sharma: Death is not end of life. It’s a new beginning.
Mohd. Safdar Afaque: well said nivi.
Anurag Bhateja: Kya baat hai Nivi..
(pahuch gaya anurag safdar ko competition dene)
Yogeet Brar : it means “Pappu fail ho gaya” L
Vinay Verma: I can help you. I can send some virus to jail authority data.. Their all files will be corrupted.
Kanika Catty: so sad… mauuuu..
(koi kanika ko batao ki wo insaan hai, meow nahi)
Shashank Terrance Augustus Richard: this is a bad news. Playing a song for you “hamko man ki shakti dena” on listentomyradio.com/hamkomankishakti
Sukhbir singh: I can’t see this man. I will cover my face with my sunsilk hairs..
Praveen Jaggi: yar agar film shoot karni ho to batana. By the time if you need grapes to eat, I can arrange for you.. kal CFC walo ko unki exhibition khatam hone se pehle khilaye the.. tumhe tumhari life khatam hone se pehle khila dunga.
Puneet – film ki story bhi hai mere paas.
Naveen Choudhary: mere paas ek idea hai.. agar fansi ka time nikal jaye to fansi nahi hoti. Tum jailor ko kehna ki mujhe shashank ka pura naam bolna hai. Itna bada naam khatam karte-2 to time nikal jayega or tum bach jaoge..
(Naveen ke 2 hi kaam – ya to gyaan dena ya taang kheechna)
Ruma kat: hooooo, vry sad.. L
Shashank Terrance Augustus Richard: @naveen – lol.. bhai aap to mere naam ke peeche hi pad gaye ho..
Gautam kapil: Can I start loving his girlfriend, and her friend, and her friend’s friend.. but I still love you baby. Remember a flirt is always good at heart..
(Gautam ke 2 hi tarah ke status msg hote hai. Pehla gf ko targeted doosra sari duniya ko ye kehna I don’t care)
Navleen: it’s difficult to believe… last week only I covered xyz for a column in City Life.
Jas K Shan: All SCS 2nd year guys, we have to submit a report on xyz to HOD tomorrow by 5 pm..
Nisha Sharma: तरस रही है आँखे उसे फिर एक बार देखने के लिए..
Shagun Jasuja: its sad yaar.
@gautam kapil: uski girlfriend mere liye chhod de.
@xyz: bhai apni gf ka no. de de.
@nisha: tu mujhe dekh sakti hai… photo bheju??
@naveen / anurag: meri acchi si photo click kar do. Bhejni hai.
Sushant sharma: how are you feeling after this sentence?
(yaha bhi interview lega sushant. Iske bas ka hota to abhi 2 baar usse gale bhi milta)
Angel – Deepika Khurana: @shagun: sudhar ja.. he is dying or tu yaha ladkiya patane me laga hai..
Palvi vora: I hate you.. ,He is different., I love myself., I need a bicycle.
(Palvi ke 90% status message mujhe samjh hi nahi aate ki kyo or kiske liye likha hai)
Nisha Sharma: @angel – sahi kaha.
Shagun Jasuja: @angel-Oye, mai ladkiya nahi pata raha. Achha sun mujhe apna mobile no. de de.. @nisha-tu bhi de de..
(shagun pure shahar ko pata lag chuka hai ki tu jis ladki se baat karta hai uska phone no. mangne lagta hai)
Angel: @shagun- bakwas band kar.
Jitendra singh: Koi raman sharma ko bhi is discussion me involve kar lo..
(Jitendra ka or raman ka pyaar bhi mujhe samajh nahi aaya)
Shagun Jasuja: @angel – thik hai mat de.. par fb chat par to mil ja na plz..
@nisha – u online?
Ajay garg:I am fed up. Guys please use this space for some productive use..
(Ajay garg – doosra gyani)
Charanjot kaur: maine to pehle hi kaha tha.. finally judge ne faansi hi di na. pehle umrkaid de raha tha.. ye judge bhi pata nahi kya samajhata hai.. mujhe bahut experience hai in sab cheejo ka.
Isha jalan: he was boy next door…
Nipun tantia: I am not in my senses guys. Who r u?
Preet Arjun singh: Its sad news.. but I have a good news also.. I have a Karma Republic labeled T-Shirt with caption “Go to Hell”. Will give it to you free..
XYZ: my dear friends, I was joking. Tum sab to serious hi ho gaye or to or meri gf tak udane ki sochne lage.. but nice to see that you guys are concern for me..
After 3 minutes and 21 seconds, another status message by Anurag Bhateja where he tagged 50 people..
@naveen Choudhary @gaurav chhabra @safdar …….@ preet: XYZ was joking.. usko saja nahi hui hai..
Now all those who were tagged in this post are waiting for new notifications..
You may like to read beahviour of general people on Facebook. Click to read Facebook Life Cycle.