Thanks friends for reading my previous post Love Aaj kal. When I was planning to write stories about my crushes and affairs, I decided to leave this story because I am ashamed on this story. This is story of my first crush. First time I proposed to someone. Can you guess how old is this incident? This is 19 years old incident when I was studying in 8th standard. I was 12-13 years old only. I am not ashamed because I did this in such young age. I am ashamed because I created embarrassment for that girl.
At this age due to hormonal changes, attraction towards opposite sex increases. Same happened with me as well. I started feeling that I should have a girlfriend. There were 2 reasons behind this feeling – one was hormonal changes as I said and other is mentioned at the end of story. Simran, who was my classmate, attracted me. There were many girls in class then why only Simran? Actually heightwise I was 2nd smallest boy in the class. Most of the beautiful girls were either taller than me or they were of the same height. I was having only 2 options with that height and simran was more beautiful than the other one. So simran became sweetheart, ofcourse from my side only.
I decided to propose her. I decided to share my feelings through New Year card. I went to greetings shop selected a card. The card was quiet costly for me that time. It was costing Rs. 35, while normally rate of Archies greeting cards were Rs. 10-15 only that time. I was not getting pocket money and I was not having any justification to give my parents for 35 rupees so I decided to give her handmade card. Afterall handmade card will have my emotions. How a card worth Rs. 35/- (big amount) can express my feelings. I copied the design of card in my mind and started drawing in night. I made the card in 2 nights. Schools were opened after winter vacations on 2nd January. I didn’t get courage to handover the card to her. All girls used to go out in interval after having lunch in class. So I decided to put the card in her desk in interval. This day 3-4 girls didn’t went out. The way you wait for bad time to pass on, I waited for these girls to go. Finally they moved out when only 2-3 minutes were left for interval to be over. I quickly went to Simran’s seat and put the card in her desk. Just at that moment her friend, who was sitting next to her entered in class and saw me putting something in her desk. She asked me “kya kar rahe ho”, I said “nothing” and I moved. She opened that card. The card given to Simran by me was opened by someone else without her permission. Bad mannered girl, I thought. Anyway she not only opened it but also showed to all girls in class. Simran was the last one who saw this card. I immediately became villain for the girls.
My class teacher received complaint against me by girls (not by Simran). He asked me to call my parents. I didn’t inform my parents about this and bunked school for two days. After than a social worker of my class Ms. Meenakshi reached my home and informed my parents. I don’t know why she did this to me? I think she was jealous. She always took pain to create pain in ass of the classmates. I hate her. I don’t think I need to tell you what happened when my parents knew about it. It is understood.
You must be thinking what an idiot I was. If you are not thinking like it than I admit I think like that. Now I want to share a background story of it. All my friends who are parents and will be parents in future, please read this carefully. That time we were living in a rented house. Younger son of my landlord was studying in a college and I guess he was around 20-21 years old that time (I was 13). This guy studied in a boy’s school and was quiet frustrated guy. He always used to ask me about girls of school and everytime I replied “gandi baat bhaiya”, but everytime after any of such talks I felt some sensation inside me. Still I tried not to listen him.
That year central government announced 50% quota for SC/ST. This decision was opposed all over India by college students. Jaipur was also burning. Looking at law and order situation collector declared school holidays which lasted for more than a month. In these holidays my interaction increased with my landlord’s son. He tried to make me habitual of pan masala and gutkha. Thank god I am not. First time I saw playboy magazine with him during that period. He asked me to play lottery also. Slowly-slowly I started liking the “gandi baat” of bhaiya. My parents didn’t notice that what I am doing because the bhaiya was having very good and decent image in front of seniors. In this period only he said “ladki pata”. I started thinking about it and did this act.
My friends please take care with whom your kids are talking, what they are doing. Sometimes people, whom we feel are decent, become something else. Yes I did this idiotic act but I stopped myself by playing lottery or being habitual to Pan Masala or gutkha. May be your kid couldn’t resist.
My all acts were normal, but all this happened bit early and in a wrong way. When friends discuss such things between them it affects mind in a different way and when a person who is frustrate discusses this it affects very negatively.
Finally I say it again I am ashamed of this act. Simran, I apologise for that idiotic act of mine. I know you were hurt. Once I saw you in university, thought to appologise but couldn’t gather courage to go in front of you. Please accept my apologies.
P.S. : Those who are planning to propose someone, please remember don’t give anything in written. It creates trouble.